IT should have been straightforward. We go to America, meet lovely people, enjoy ourselves. Two weeks later we should catch a return flight from Baltimore to Heathrow then Heathrow to Aberdeen. Well, maybe if it hadn't been for the bag that startled security people in Heathrow, which caused the departure lounge to be evacuated, which took hours to deal with and ended up messing up flight schedules on both sides of the Atlantic. Let's start this sorry tale in Baltimore...
THE last night was soon upon us and we awaited the arrival of Jack and Helen who represented the evening's entertainment... and entertaining it duly proved to be. They were a talented couple. He had won an accordion contest somewhere back in time and his skill was there for all to hear. Helen was a diminutive, perky, smiling type who sang and generally frisked about to the music in the most cultured manner.
I NEVER had difficulties in the past – seat-wise. Usually when directed to the seat I proceeded to almost take for granted that the resulting experience would be a relief, if not actually gratifying. After a recent experience with a seat I think I can say that I actually do appreciate a good seat wherever it happens to be.
I FIRST noticed that night as he entered the room. There was something about him, something quite different. As the smoke cleared from his face I could see Philip's hair hanging loosely down his neck. Philip had let his hair down.
"THE besta chef in town!" What else can the head waiter Massimo say? Chef is there by his side tending to a meringue already aflame "alla vesuvio", which threatens to engulf not just himself but half of Tuscany. In the restaurant, the lights are dimmed to simulate, I suspect, the effects of a pyroplastic flow, but also perhaps to intensify the effects of a meringue masquerading as Vesuvius in full volcanic flow.
THERE is an adage – never perform with children or animals. This I saw at first hand one afternoon in Elgin's Cooper Park. That day organisers had assembled a collection of what might be called entertainment items, among which was a salsa band and a dog team.
