SARAH MEDCRAF: Can working mothers ever have it all?
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Recently there was a debate on a television breakfast show about whether women - mothers - could have both a career and bring up a family.
The two sides of the debate were polar opposites and whilst this is usually the case in this type of debate for news/entertainment, both sides did also share some valid points.
The TV programme ‘clipped’ up the interview and shared it on their Instagram and in turn, I shared it on mine. The response I received was really interesting.
On the whole I was flooded with mothers just like me (I have a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old), who were appalled at the notion of anyone even suggesting that they couldn’t have it all and it was nothing more than absolutely ludicrous.
How dare ‘they’ suggest that we can’t be everything that we want to be - and that what we want to be is great parents and have an enriched working life.
However, there was also a few responses that were really thought provoking. I hope that it goes without saying that ultimately women want to cheer on other women who are doing their best in whatever they choose to do.
But circumstances all too often mean that sometimes women just simply can’t. From lack of childcare (both availability and affordability), to having a spouse/support network, to even having suitable housing, it can be very difficult to navigate.
In many cases, regardless of any ambition to further their career, women will feel stuck. The other side is that a mother may be very content with what she does professionally but would like more time at home whilst her children are young.
Yet, with most parents needing two incomes and some doing roles where it simply cannot be done flexibly or on less hours, there are women who are working more than they would like or have to miss a school concert or dance exam.
Reflecting back on the interview it is actually quite easy to see why each mother was so invested in their own side. They are playing with the cards they were dealt.
One of the women categorically felt that she should be there for every moment of their child’s life and the role of the father was to provide the financial income so she could do that.
The other woman was very bold in stating that it is “defeatist and damaging to say women’s careers not as valuable as a man’s”.
I have friends in both camps, heck I even fluctuate across varying opinions.
But the real issue here is that we, as society, need to build an infrastructure that enables the choice. The choice is what’s missing for so many parents.
There is a saying: “We are expected to parent like we don’t work and work like we don’t parent.”
Now, as time goes on I do believe that this is changing. Employers and business leaders understand that if they want to attract and retain good talent they need to be flexible (to all employees) and understand that people’s work life balance is different now to even a decade ago.
Working mothers are a credit to our workforce and offer so much including incredible time management skills!
