Feature: Wife's autism journey inspires Elgin cyclist's 10-day, 1000 mile challenge
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AN Elgin cyclist's stomach was "churning" with nerves the day before he pedalled away on an epic journey in his wife's honour.
Stuart Dick was speaking the day before the first day of his cycle from Land's End to John O'Groats.
The inspiration behind the 1000 mile, 10 day challenge, could not have been closer to his heart.
In August last year, his wife Anne (38) found an answer to why she faced "many years of struggling" in education and work – her autism.
Stuart said it had been a "huge relief" for Anne and it has helped her "understand herself a bit better".
However, when Anne began the assessment process, Stuart made the bold promise that, should she receive an autism diagnosis, he would take on the UK's longest point-to-point cycle in aid of the National Autistic Society.
He is raising cash through a JustGiving page.
"True to my word, I thought: 'I better do it now, because I've said it,'" said John.
"I didn't get much sleep last night - I'll tell you.
"My stomach has been churning this morning, and the realism of it has hit home.
"But, nervous as I am, I'm looking forward to the challenge."
Elgin Cycling Club member Stuart's voyage began at Land's End on June 1, his birthday, where he was seen off by Anne's twin brother.
And when he reaches John O'Groats on June 10, he will be welcomed with open arms by Anne, his dad, stepmum and daughter Astrid (4).
He said: "I've got one twin waving me off at the start and one will welcome me home at John O'Groats, so that's quite cool."
"I'm not an athlete, I don't race and it has only been the last three or four years I have really got into cycling."
During the middle portion, however, Stuart, who has completed Ride the North, Etape Loch Ness and topped the 100-mile mark (but never on back-to-back days), will have to rely on his own legs and his own wits.
He added that being so far from home with just a bike for travel will be "quite daunting".
"I'm not an athlete, I don't race and it has only been the last three or four years I have really got into cycling," he said.
"I've never done something as big as this.
"It's going to be a huge effort and a challenge, physically and mentally, to deal with the days when my legs are tired.
"And knowing I'm so far from home and I have to get there by bike, it’s quite daunting."
As of June 6 Stuart, who is an ambassador for Kinesis Bikes and is sponsored by local firms Kula Coffee Hut and Speyside Coffee Roasting, has already raised over £1600.
His original target, for the entire ride, was £1000.
"Most of the people joining me I have never even met before, and that's really encouraging."
However, though Stuart will be spending a difficult time away from his family on the ride, he has a passionate community of fellow cyclists to back him up.
Through his Instagram page GBScotland, Stuart has brought together a supportive team who plan to come out to ride alongside him and help him "chap on" through tough sections of the cycle.
He said: "I'm doing it unsupported, by myself, but I will have a lot of support along the way from Instagram.
"Most of the people joining me I have never even met before, and that's really encouraging.
"It's definitely giving me a lot of motivation to chap on and get the challenge done.
"It's really humbling and a bit overwhelming, to be fair."
Anne said Stuart's efforts have "absolutely blown me away".
And the cause behind the "massive, massive undertaking" makes it even more remarkable, she said.
"It has absolutely blown me away to be honest," Anne said.
"It's such a massive, massive undertaking and I'm extremely proud of him.
"And for him to do it for that cause as well is brilliant."
"I don't think a diagnosis alone changes anything, but it gives a better understanding of why I've struggled.
An important step in Anne's journey towards a "better understanding" of herself came through a questionnaire she and colleagues completed to "fill five minutes" during the working day.
Anne, who works at Spynie Dental Practice, was shocked by the results of the tick-box autism assessment which suggested she was “very likely” to be autistic.
She dismissed the idea out of hand, but over time it began to make more and more sense to her.
Eventually she took the plunge, sought an assessment, and was diagnosed with autism through the NHS.
"I don't think a diagnosis alone changes anything, but it gives a better understanding of why I've struggled," she said.
"My biggest struggle, I would say, is that I can't regulate my emotions very well.
"If I become overwhelmed, if I get stressed, if I'm sad, if I'm angry – I'll cry.
"And to a lot of people, that's not normal behaviour.
"But that's just my way of processing and dealing with my emotions."
Anne also realised that her meticulous approach to planning, difficulties with time management and procrastination, and struggles at work also stemmed in part from her autism.
She said: "I thought I was just very good at planning, but it was because I was looking at every detail and wanted to be control of everything.
"And that was due to my autism.
"I needed all the information to keep myself calm, because it's the unknown I'm not very good with.
"For a long time, I thought I was anxious and there were maybe mental health problems going on.
"But, from my side, it was all about dealing with my emotions, getting overwhelmed and not being able to look at the bigger picture."
"They said: 'Why do you want to put a label on yourself?'"
When Anne looks back through her life knowing that she is autistic, she said, many painful experiences make more sense to her.
Though she is glad that the wider understanding of autism has improved since her time at school and university, the road to her diagnosis was not an easy one.
"When I plucked up the courage to get a diagnosis, I had a phone appointment with the doctor and they weren't great – to be honest," Anne said.
"They told me: 'You're married, you've gotten this far in your career, you're a mum, why do you want to get a diagnosis?'
"They said: 'Why do you want to put a label on yourself?'
"And I didn't think that was very helpful."
Sharing her diagnosis has also put her face-to-face with the stereotypes and misconceptions which hinder people on the spectrum.
She said: "It's difficult because, when I got my diagnosis, a lot of people's only thought about autistic people is that they are all non-verbal.
"When I told quite a few people about my diagnosis they really said to me: 'Oh, you don't look autistic.'
"Some people were quite taken aback.
"I wasn't what they expected somebody with autism to be like.
"I think it's important for people to hear the experience of somebody who has recently been diagnosed with autism and isn't who they might typically associate with it.
"To challenge their own thoughts about who may have autism, or even inspire others to get assessed."
"Being diagnosed younger would have made a massive, massive difference to me."
Though not having personally benefited from any National Autistic Society resources or courses, a friend's experience hammered home to Anne the value of the charity's work.
Her friend's autistic and non-verbal young daughter will grow up with a foundation of understanding which will be "so beneficial", as a result of a 10-week course, Anne said.
"My friend, who has recently done one of their courses, found it so beneficial to understanding her daughter," she said.
"Seeing and knowing someone who has benefited from what Stuart is supporting is quite nice."
She added that a similar level of understanding about her experience, and an earlier diagnosis, could have made a "massive, massive difference" to her life.
"Being diagnosed younger would have made a massive, massive difference to me.
"I grew up with so many struggles, and I didn't realize they were struggles until I had my diagnosis.
"If I knew what was happening I could have been more supported.
"I always wonder whether, if I had a diagnosis back then, it might have worked out differently."
Although Anne wanted an autism assessment for her own sake, another factor also drove her push for answers.
While watching her daughter Astrid grow up, she has seen a reflection of her own sensory issues and the difficulties she has experienced since childhood.
And finding out the truth behind those struggles became vital, to help her daughter avoid "struggling, like I struggled".
Anne believes this also has a hand in Stuart's choice to take on his epic athletic feat.
"Part of me wanted to get my autism diagnosis because I was recognising a lot of things I struggled with in my daughter," Anne said.
"She has a lot of sensory difficulties.
"I honestly do believe that, down the road, she will have an autism diagnosis because I can see her struggling with some really big things.
"I would feel so guilty, 20 years down the line, if I knew she was struggling, like I struggled.
"Stuart's doing it for me and my struggles, but I think he's really doing it for Astrid too."
"Honestly, since I've had my diagnosis, my whole workplace is aware and they've been absolutely amazing."
Anne, who received her diagnosis after a new NHS adult autism assessment service launched in Elgin, has seen a big difference in her work life.
Working closely with occupational health, she has, for the first time, been able to organise her work in a way that suits her.
A few parts of her job which Anne said she previously found very difficult included working on the reception desk, taking unscheduled phone calls and uncertainty over finding a parking space.
Now, with the "whole workplace" aware, she feels better set up to cope with the day-to-day stresses of her job.
She said: "Honestly, since I've had my diagnosis, my whole workplace is aware and they've been absolutely amazing.
"Some of the struggles before sound ridiculous when you speak them through, but the whole thought process is really, super, ridiculously stressful."
She also encouraged Moray women and girls, in particular, to pursue an assessment if they believe they may be autistic.
Anne said she has learned that girls are more likely to mask symptoms and their autism not be picked up.
In her own life, she said social pressure had forced her to change how she presented among peers, including her mannerisms and eye contact.
"Well - I'm taking my bike with me to Mallorca two days after."
After Stuart reaches his warm welcome at John O'Groats on June 10, the family are to stay the night not far from the finish line.
However, only two days after the end of Stuart's two-wheeled voyage, him, Anne and Astrid are heading to Mallorca.
Anne said: "He needs to get back, because we're flying to Mallorca on June 12!"
However – incredibly – Stuart has also booked his bike a spot on the plane.
"Yeah, he is taking his bike," Anne said.
"Although he'll probably never want to cycle again after his challenge.
"He might just get back and decide: 'I am not taking the bike', once it actually comes to it."
The decision to take his bike was an easy one for Stuart.
However, he is in two minds about whether he will be fit to ride when plane wheels hit Spanish runway.
He said: "Well – I'm taking my bike with me to Mallorca two days after.
"I couldn't go to Mallorca and not take my bike.
"With this challenge, I'm either going to get fitter as I go along or I'm just going to be knackered.
"I don't know which one it is going to be.
"A mixture of both probably."
